Marrying in Brunei is like Commiting Suicide

Friday, June 19, 2009

Salam & hola,

Just read this from www.brudirect.com I agreed with this....
Written by Wedding Dash Thursday, 18 June 2009 23:11


Recently, my best friend approached me for a coffee. He needed to talk, he told me. He sounded so stressed out and that his tone was tense and high pitched.

I have never seen him so disturbed as he tried to tell me his story. A guy of 28 years old, he is engaged to a 22 year old girl and are to wed this November. I thought a guy should be happy, but he had a distressed look. It seems that he wanted a simple ceremony, just that nikah solemnation ceremony at the surau, he told me. But his parents insisted on a grand bersanding ceremony, as he was their youngest child.

It is not that my friend didn't want to fulfill his parent's wishes but according to him, just to throw a normal Bersanding ceremony itself could cost up to 25 k. Now this guy works as a government office clerk. He already has to pay for his car loan monthly, so is his computer loan and personal loans.

He told me that in order to acquire around 30K (which was supposedly his total cost for his wedding ceremony), he would need to loan again. The loan from the bank itself is not enough so he might need to seek government car loan. He told me that all this loaning led him to serious trouble because he now have all too many debts that only left him with around 400 dollars every month. He sadly described his woes. Not there was so little money would be left over, then how could he support his wife-to-be or his children in the future.

Wedding in Brunei is a grand affair. Everyone especially the Malay community is expected to throw lavish wedding ceremonies. This great expectations actually cause misery to the bridegroom. This tension is created by the community. Picture this: If people want to get married at a simple nikah ceremony without giving a big spread , then people will say that something must be wrong - they get suspicious and this can cause a nightmare to the parents. These typical Bruneians parents feel they need a big face to carry around!

Bruneians should be open on this matter. Marriage is supposed to be a beautiful thing and a memorable one too. We, the community should not expect too much from others. Open up your mind and heart!

Parents too should respect their children's wishes. Get rid of your ego because we are talking about your children's happiness here. Let them decide how they want their memorable day to be.

And the bride and groom should also put their happiness first before everything else. Be firm! We are talking about your future here. At the end of the day, it will be you that faces the consequences and not others. Unless of course, if your parents are to sponsor your extravagant wedding ceremony - then you are most welcome to accept their offer haha!

I mean, you surely do not want your wife and children to suffer from poverty just because you are still paying your wedding debits to the bank for 5 years!!

Now, that's what I told my friend.